All this for donuts?
by Dragonbuttero'PKMN
Summary: Ryuzaki sees a commercial on TV for free donuts, but the donuts are only available to woman. So in order to get the donuts he dresses up as a woman. Along with Misa Amane, and armed with the Death Note, He ventures forth to the mall in order to get donuts
1. Chapter 1

L was working with Light one day when he realized he should tell Light something.

"Hey Light-kun."

"What?"

"Do you remember the time I said I was actually all the world's greatest detective?"

Light thought for a moment "No."

"I mean that time I said I was the detective Aizen, and the other detectives."

Light still listened "Yeah."

"Well... there are other personas I have-"

Light interrupted him "Like the rock star: Ryuzaki?"

"Yes, but I'm also a drag queen. Sometimes I'll go out in public dressed in drag, calling myself "Sakura". Other times I just pretend I'm MisaMisa."

"...You just continue to get weirder all the time don't you?"

Time passed after they had that conversation, then one day L was flipping channels and saw the end of a commercial:

**Kama Café! Found at Cherry Blossom Mall!**

**Now offering free doughnuts to girl-girl "lovers".**

L got excited "Free doughnuts! Light-kun!"

"What is it Ryuzaki?"

"Come with me to the mall! There's a café that I want to go to and I don't want to go to the mall by myself!"

Light asked "What café?"

L shouted "The Kama Café!"

"The gay café? How many times do I have to tell you I'm not gay?"

"But they're giving out FREE DOUGHNUTS!"

"FREE DOUGHNUTS? DID YOU JUST SAY FREE DOUGHNUTS?"

"YES I SAID FREE DOUGHNUTS!"

"Then let's go!"

L thought of something "Just wait one moment, I've got to change."

15 minutes later Ryuzaki comes back wearing a drag outfit that was all black, like something Misa wore. He was also holding some clothes in his hands.

"Why are you wearing that outfit? You don't need to dress like a chick to look gay." (Snap!)

"Yes, that is true, but they're only giving out free doughnuts to lesbians."

"Ryuzaki you idiot! I REFUSE to dress like a girl with you!"

L was annoyed "Do you want free donuts or what?"

"Yes."

"Then put these clothes on."

"Listen Ryuzaki, it's bad enough I have to dress like a girl, I'm not going to wear an outfit you picked out. I'll choose what I wear!"

2 hours later, after Light explained to Misa what he was doing (he asked to borrow some clothes also), Misa yelling that she didn't want Light to be gay with Ryuzaki, Light saying he wanted doughnuts, and L was watching TV because he was waiting for light, Light and Misa walk downstairs to Ryuzaki.

Light and Misa then went to Ryuzaki, who was glad when they finally came, but a little annoyed at how long it took "What?"

"Ryuzaki, we've decided that Misa can go with you to the mall, as long a Misa brings back a doughnut."

"Okay."

L stood up, and I mean STRAIGHT UP.

L remembered something "You know what? There's one more thing I have to get before we leave."

L ran over and picked up a black purse by the couch.

"You're bringing a purse too?" Light asked

"Not just a purse..."

L pulled out the Death note from the purse, grinning at them both.

Light and Misa were surprised.

Light said something "You're bringing the death note? Right after we got it from that other guy? And if you use it you'll have to kill someone every few days just to stay alive!"

"Yes, but I have reason to doubt the "keep writing names down or you're dead" rule is fake. And besides, it's worth the risk for doughnuts."

"You're willing to risk your life for doughnuts?"

"Hey, I already am risking my life when I'm doing my job right?"

Ryuk by this time was laughing so hard he actually managed to puke apples, even though he's dead and he really shouldn't be able to do that.

* * *

><p><strong>P.S. This story was originally made because I wanted L to cross-dress. The way they're talking about doughnuts was based off of how the people at my school used to talk about tacos. <strong>**All the time: tacos, tacos, tacos. And those internet videos about tacos are pretty weird too.**


	2. Chapter 2 A fight between Misa and L

**All This For Donuts? ****Chapter 2**

L and Misa were outside the building.

"So...? Ryuzaki... where... where exactly is the mall? I... haven't really been around here that much." asked Misa.

L pointed some way North-East "It's that way."

Then Ryuzaki just started walking.

"Where are you going?"

"To the mall."

"We can't just walk there! You're in drag, dressed like a Goth girl. And I'm too tired to walk! Can't we just ride in your limousine?"

"Don't you remember? I have the Death Note; and if you're really that tired we could just go in that 300 KM train. We'd get to the mall in NO TIME!"

"The train doesn't stop at any malls! And even if it did it's just a dangerous place to be in drag. You'd have to write down the names of everyone on there!"

"Okay," L then picked Misa up "then I'll just have to carry ya'!"

Misa: RYUZAKI PU ME DOWN RIGHT NOW!

"I can't!" yelled Ryuzaki "Donuts are at stake! I can't get donuts without you!"

And with that he sprinted as fast as he can to the mall... until he himself got tired.

"S-sorry Misa. I... have to take a break."

Misa was off L's back "Maybe if you ate healthier you could have carried me all the way to the mall!"

That pissed off L "Hey! If I ate healthier I wouldn't be going to the mall in the first place! Misa, if you're going to yell at least THINK about what you're yelling!"

"I thought you were going to the mall just to meet guys?"

"MISA! HOW DUMB CAN YOU BE! I'VE BEEN YELLING ABOUT DONUTS AND YOU THINK I'M GOING TO THE **DANG** MALL TO FLIRT WITH GUYS!

I'M NOT GAY I JUST HAVE A LOT OF YAOI FAN GIRLS! I'D RATHER SCREW A HOT SEXY BABE THEN SOME FAGGOT I MET AT THE MALL!"

Misa was surprised "I... had no idea... I mean... you handcuffed yourself to Light, then you dress like a girl, you eat a lot of fruit and I've read a lot of stuff written about you on the internet."

"Misa, you should know better than to trust the **DANG **internet when it comes to the truth about how anime characters really feel. And you should know that a lot of straight guys cross-dress."

"...Sorry..."

"You should be."

Just then, a gang of men came emerged from the shadows of the alley.

**Well, that's it for now! Sorry if the story sounds corny, but it's hard for a girl to imagine how a straight guy would talk. **

**Now remember: I DO NOT think L is GAY! And I HATE (**extreme**) YAOI FANGIRLS. THEY (**almost**) ALWAYS COMPLETELY IGNORE ALL THE TIMES L WASN'T ACTING GAY AND THEY (**may**) ONLY REMEMBER THE GAY MOMENTS OF DEATH NOTE AND THEY (**sometimes**) USE THAT HANCUFF PART FROM THE ANIME TO WRITE WHATEVER THEY WANT IN THEIR (**sometimes**) TWISTED YAOI STORIES!**

**Chapter 3 is coming soon. Wait for it.**


	3. Chapter 3 L is smarter than idiots

id:7413037

Eh... so... anyways, a few guys surrounded L and Misa. Misa and L heard them though, so they knew someone was there.

"Just what are two pretty faces doing in a place like this?" one of them said.

"It looks like they're lost." said another guy.

"Well pretties, just why are you out here?" said the biggest and most masculine of the group.

L whispered so that the men couldn't hear him "Misa, if you really are the second kira, if you kill these guys right now I promise I won't put you in jail."

Misa thought about this for a minute. What if this was a trick? Could L have set this up to test yet again if Misa was kira? She was suspicious of what was happening right then, so she stayed silent.

L after realizing Misa wasn't going to do anything, had to think of some way to get of the mess they were in. He thought of something really drastic that he would never do normally, but these guys were total strangers, and L didn't want to take any chances of dying.

L: We were waiting for our dates to meet us hear, but they didn't show up. Maybe... you guys could be with us for since they're not here?

_**What the Fuck is he saying?**_ Misa thought.

The men seemed to understand what L was saying. "Sure." is what the most masculine said again. "Do you guys think we should stay and keep _them _company?" They all nodded.

"Just one more thing, can you please tell us your names? We need to let dad know who we've been with, so he can charge them later." L tried to speak in a flirticious way.

_**Is he speaking some sort of code?**_ Misa thought. _**It almost sounds like something a prostitute would say.**_

L got the death note out. "I don't have a very good memory, so please spell out you names so I can write them down."

The men of course, not paying attention to the words "DEATH NOTE" on the cover of the notebook, stupidly spelled out their names and L actually wrote what they were saying in the death note.

"So, what were you guys thinking of doing?"

Then all the guys had heart attacks and died.

Misa screamed "**How did you get them to die all at once?"**

**"**Did you notice I'm wearing a watch?"

L then showed his wrist to Misa "I wrote their names down and I put the same time down for each of them."

"Wow..."

And then there was a slight silence.


	4. Chapter 4 Misa's friends

**Chapter 4**

Misa couldn't believe it. Ryuzaki had managed to kill several people (all of them were dumb, but it was extremely impressive); in drag, and all because he wanted some doughnuts.

L looked up "We should probably get going again. So, do you think you can walk or do I have to carry you?"

Misa no longer thought she was in any danger "I think I can walk."

"Okay."

So they both walked out of the alley...

onto a street where they walked into a group of girls that knew Misa.

"Misa! What are you doing here?" one of them asked "and who's that guy your with?"

OMG L's outfit doesn't fool anyone!

"This is my friend Ryuzaki, and we were just heading to the mall." explained Misa.

"Why is he wearing that outfit?" said another one of the girls "Don't gay men usually wear bright colors when wearing drag?"

Apparently Misa's friends were very prejudice, assuming L was gay because he was friends with a girl and was going to go to the mall with her... while wearing drag; and then there was that gay bright colors comment.

But of course, L didn't try to look bothered (best not to worry about what dumb bipolar girls think). "I really don't like bright colors; and besides, my skin looks better with darker colors." L explained.

L's skin looked pale white to the girl "Yeah, I guess white skin goes well with black." she said "Hey Misa! Maybe we could go to the mall with you? We don't have anything else to."

"I guess..." Misa said "What do you think Ryuzaki?"

"I don't mind if they come." He sort of forced that one out. Yes, the girls were annoying, but there is power in numbers. It would be good to have some extra people around in case something else bad happens.

During all of what just happened, Ryuk was flying around following L, because he had the Death Note. He'd been watching everything. Only now did he speak up "How long is it going to take before we reach the mall?"

"Shhhhhhh! Quiet!" L whispered "It should only be a few more minutes away."


	5. Chapter 5 You stole my name!

Chapter 5

While L, Misa, and the group of girls were walking to the mall, there was a man walking inside the Kira Investigation headquarters. He tried to get in, but the doors wouldn't open.

"May I ask who you are?" said a dis-embodied voice.

"Where's Ryuzaki at?"

There wasn't an answer.

"Fine, if you won't agree to talk, I'll force you to answer me."

Later, L and the group were then on a subway (apparently there was one or something).

"How slow can this bus go!" Misa screamed. "It's slower than your sister!"

"Are you talking about my sister?" screamed Ryuzaki.

Remember in the anime when even though L was dead you saw someone that looked like him riding a bicycle, or when L had straight hair and then suddenly his hair had a giant wave to it? That was his twin sister. She wasn't actually "slow", but she Misa never heard her speak or do anything that showed intelligence; she mistook this for her being "slow".

Misa didn't answer Ryuzaki's question, which he repeated to get Misa to respond.

Ryuzaki eventually got tired of yelling the same thing and stopped. After a few minutes the bus got stopped abruptly, which surprised everyone. Someone had stopped it with super-human strength you only see on superhero shows... or anime... or the bible on that part when god gave a guy enough power to break through stone.

Then someone broke through the wall of the bus. That person, was the rock star, Ryuzaki Ryuga... or maybe his name was Ryuzaki Hideki... I forget.

"The fuck...?" said L, surprised at everything that was happening. Misa and her friends were just staring at the guy.

The rock star saw L, and he went straight to him, and grabbed him by the collar on his shirt "Are you the guy that stole my name?

Misa's friends, after seeing L was being attacked, lunged at the guy, tried to get L away, and tried to hold the guy down. L tried to fight the guy by kicking.

"Misa! Go get help!" yelled Ryuzaki.

Misa, who was just staring at what was happening, ran out of the bus.

She ran. She wondered if she'll be able to reach someone by the time L would be... killed.  
>Then she saw some familiar faces running HER way, Light, his father, L's sister, and an old guy who she's never seen before, Watari.<p>

They all stopped running.

"Where's Ryuzaki?" Light yelled.

"He's this way!" and Misa started running back to the bus. Everyone followed.


End file.
